Theoretically, money is the same thing as “value”. Some generic entity that can be transferred, in continuous quantities, between people. An entity that people are concerned with maintaining a rough balance, or even inflow, of.
In reality, when people do valuable things for each other, the context (whether it’s a business transaction) is very important in determining whether money can be exchanged for it. Non business transactions can be very much transactions, in the full sense that business transactions are. For instance, if you’re dating some guy, starting out expecting to spend some X number of hours a week together (determined implicitly and approximately, of course,) and he starts to blow you off, the reason you’re mad at him is because he violated an implicit contract, which is, in a restricted yet practical sense, the same kind of contract as any business contract. If you marry a guy on the expectation that he’s going to be an active parent, and then he turns out to be more interested in his career or his pub, then you’re going to be mad because he violated a contract.
In fact, these implicit contracts can really pop up all the time. If you bake some sort of dessert for an acquaintance, accepting it is going to indebt them to you, in your and their own minds, to at least maintain a certain level of friendliness and interest in your life until that debt is repaid. Now, people never put it in these terms, and rarely think about it in these terms, but the terms actually describe pretty well what goes on in these situations. People get offended if you don’t reciprocate a certain level of conversational interest in their life.
Even in charity situations, this analysis holds a good deal of insight. If it’s a church giving assistence to some person in difficult circumstances, the expected form of payment is in either fulfilling the church member’s religious obligations (which itself is seen as a sort of debt, to God), or perhaps an expectation that the assisted will renew their own faith/efforts in piety. In secular charities, often the idea is that the assisted have been taken from unjustly by society (or at least have had particularly bad luck), and so society as a whole owes them a debt, which the charity aims to partially repay to the assisted.
So why does it seem so weird-funny to put things in these terms? Why is money not used as generic “value”? I really can’t offer a well-reasoned explanation, but I imagine the answer lies in the direction of the association of greediness and cutthroat competetiveness with money, as well as problems with the real incompatibility of negotiation with geniality. Disagreements about the value of some favor could leave a bad taste in a person’s mouth that could be avoided by sticking to less tangible forms of repayment. Also, with the inefficiency (time consuming—annoying) of the overhead of that negotiation when value transfers are small and frequent. (As in blog commenting.) Also, such negotiations, when undertaken beforehand, would really interfere with the spontaneity of whatever favor is being made. Also, people exchange value in myriad ways not commonly recognized by money, and even just being aware of all the ways in which one exchanges value is a pretty tall order.
So there are issues that make actually putting a dollar value on many types of things impractical. And thus, they are never done. Then social expectations around the proper role of money form, and money comes to be associated with certain negative things, and eventually attempting to pay someone for a behavior comes to be viewed as an insult. After all, money is something you give to people who do things for you, so that you don’t have to get to know them. So giving money to someone you know could be seen as a message that you don’t really want to know them anymore! Seems like a pretty natural process.
So what is it that gets exchanged instead? Expectation of reciprocity. Expectation of religious or karmic reciprocity. Duty to religion, or society. (Those last two can be similar sometimes.) Social approval and popularity. Time, attention, interest, transportation, paying for food and entertainment, gifts, extra physical sexual or non-sexual intimacy, extra friendliness, smiles, kind words/recommendations, praise, sharing of duties.
These are all things that probably have a dollar value. People keep scores in their heads. (Not in terms of dollars, of course, and very fuzzy scores, but still.) But they do have a big advantage over money. They’re much easier to work with. The transaction costs are a lot smaller. Especially given how we’ve probably evolved to keep very good track of a lot of these things. It’s one of the things humans are good at. So it makes a lot of sense to take advantage of our built-in accounting circuits.
But hard money has advantages, too. It (generally) ensures that the two people are on the same page about they each value of the thing in question. (Since people value money differently, it doesn’t ensure that they’ll understand exactly.) It has much wider currency. And it often allows for a more objective, impartial resolution of disputes about contract violations.
So are there any situations where the advantages of money would be really useful, but where money doesn’t get used because it’s just not occurred to anyone, or the idea seems inappropriate? Dunno. Might make another post on it.