The world sucks
My life doesn’t particularly suck—well, kind of, but—but the world does. Poverty. War. Global warming. Peak Oil and the energy crisis. Bowling alone, and the disintegration of community. Sexism. Homophobia. Racism. Sundown towns. Prison. The Drug Wars. The entire fucking justice system. The past eight years in the US. “Education.” Information overload. Healthcare in the US. Misunderstanding of mental illness, and discrimination against the mentally ill. The brokenness of democracy, representative or otherwise. Corruption. Terrible city planning in the past 30 years. [Update: List of woes expanded. Feel free to suggest your own.]
It’s pretty normal for these things to be a little depressing. But what about when they get really depressing? What about when when you’re suicidally depressed (probably not primarily due to the above-mentioned ills), and all these issues are just weighing you down? What do you do? Stop reading the news, stop following all of it? Put yourself in a cocoon and lead your own little life and don’t worry about the bigger picture? Try to forget, as much as possible, that there’s anything out there to worry about? But then, are you somehow deserting a duty to be socially involved? (After all, millions of people in the US doing just that are often given a big share of blame, perhaps deservedly, for the pitiful condition of politics here.) Are you putting yourself at risk of being personally harmed for not following these issues? What if something happens where then it really would make sense for you to move to Canada, if you really thought about it? (In my case, it’d be Spain or the Netherlands, but same diff.)
I’m afraid to stop reading about all this stuff, and afraid to keep reading. Afraid, perhaps, that without the higher narrative provided by politics, my life would completely lack any narrative, and without narrative, who am I? Actually, though, I think using the word “identity” (i.e. “who am I?”) to refer to the concept usually referred to by it is silly. It’s an awful way to describe what it describes. But then, “purpose”—what am I doing here?—, which describes the same thing, is still bad, though closer. I think I would need to understand a lot more psychology a lot better to precisely describe what it is that narrative provides one’s life that is so necessary for well-being. That is, to describe what “purpose” and “identity” really mean, without using vague, ne’er-defined terms.
God I hate living.
On a brighter note, I’m planning to ask someone out early next week. We’ve flirted a little so far, so I’m kind of hopeful, but I’m not even sure she’s single, so I’ll need lots of luck. I’m trying to decide whether to cut my hair in the meantime.
March 7th, 2008 at 15:41
I like information overload.
March 7th, 2008 at 15:45
Well, it’s not the quantity of information that bugs me, it’s the disorganization and lack of easy access to authoritative sources. (And the lack of any ultimately authoritative sources, but that’s another issue.) With the right tools and techniques, I think it can be effectively managed (though brain enhancements of one sort or another will make us even more effective) but it just takes so much work.
March 8th, 2008 at 13:45
Yes, cut your hair.
Sugar, when you aren’t well, you don’t have a duty to do anything but get better. You do not have a duty to be politically involved, that’s for sure. I think it helps to be socially involved, but I like that stuff.
This is way out of my league, but all I can think is this suggestion. Maybe if the abstract is bringing you down so much, it is time to focus real intently on something concrete? Something you build or manipulate, like, in real life with your body? I’m sure it says something about me that I think labor is an answer, but maybe some real concrete work? A project that will actually be there when you finish your day?
March 8th, 2008 at 14:05
On an interesting note, my hair is growing out to the point where it’s starting to resemble my avatar’s.
March 8th, 2008 at 17:02
One more vote for get the haircut. And if politics is getting you down, stop paying attention to it. I’m fairly politically interested, and I talk about it a lot, and it doesn’t do anyone a lick of good — it’s a hobby, not a duty. Unless you’re actually in a position of some political influence or doing a lot of active stuff, you’re not doing anything by staying politically informed.
If giving up on it will make you feel even a little better, give up on politics. If it makes you feel guilty, do something concretely nice for someone — no matter how little it is, it almost certainly will have a bigger effect on the world than your following politics will.
March 8th, 2008 at 17:36
It just feels like sticking my head in the sand, you know? Like cutting off part of my awareness. It’s a little unsettling in that respect.
March 8th, 2008 at 18:55
Well, thing is, from what you’ve written, your current situation sucks. I wish it weren’t like that, but it does give you a lot of room to experiment. You can try things, like giving up politics, for a month or so. (Here, I’ll tell you where it’ll be in a month. It’ll still be a close Democratic primary; they’ll call each other mildly bad stuff; the super delegates will have to decide it.)
You don’t have to make any permanent decisions about whether you are a person who is politically aware. You can be all “I’m on hiatus from politics while I do some project.”