Comments on: Relationships and confidence http://pdf23ds.net/2007/08/01/relationships-and-confidence/ I will not be swayed be every small current; nor will the memes faze me or infect me. I am pure. I am intelligent. I am rational. I am at peace. Tue, 06 Jan 2009 19:53:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Name http://pdf23ds.net/2007/08/01/relationships-and-confidence/#comment-2023 Name Wed, 12 Sep 2007 21:46:07 +0000 http://pdf23ds.net/2007/08/01/relationships-and-confidence/#comment-2023 Hopefully Anonymous speaks wise words. Confidence signals that you like yourself, and liking yourself signals that you're a person worthy of being liked. Hopefully Anonymous speaks wise words. Confidence signals that you like yourself, and liking yourself signals that you’re a person worthy of being liked.

]]> By: Hopefully Anonymous http://pdf23ds.net/2007/08/01/relationships-and-confidence/#comment-2015 Hopefully Anonymous Thu, 09 Aug 2007 00:37:58 +0000 http://pdf23ds.net/2007/08/01/relationships-and-confidence/#comment-2015 Read "The Venusian Arts" by Mystery, Lovedrop (Chris Odom), and Neal Strauss. There are many elements, but I think the desire for a confident mate can be reduced to game theory. It's rational to want someone who seems like they can do better than you, that way the the exchange of girlfriendship for boyfriendship seems like a great deal, like paying a discount rate for a valuable item. Read “The Venusian Arts” by Mystery, Lovedrop (Chris Odom), and Neal Strauss. There are many elements, but I think the desire for a confident mate can be reduced to game theory. It’s rational to want someone who seems like they can do better than you, that way the the exchange of girlfriendship for boyfriendship seems like a great deal, like paying a discount rate for a valuable item.

]]> By: Joel http://pdf23ds.net/2007/08/01/relationships-and-confidence/#comment-2009 Joel Wed, 01 Aug 2007 23:25:01 +0000 http://pdf23ds.net/2007/08/01/relationships-and-confidence/#comment-2009 I think that after being in a relationship for a significant amount of time, someone who is too needy can become smothering and make it hard for the other person to live their OWN life. Even if you think the world of each other, you'll still need independence to do your own thing (eventually, even if the first 3 years are amazing and you want to spend all your time together). It can also be a drain if you feel like the other person really needs you. There is suddenly pressure that if you go their life will fall apart. It's much more gratifying if someone chooses to be with you because they like your company/presence. And if someone is needy, there is the question, does this person like and want *me*? Or do they just need *someone*. Hope that helps. I don't think being completely absolutely independent is best, but like anything in life it's about balance. I think that after being in a relationship for a significant amount of time, someone who is too needy can become smothering and make it hard for the other person to live their OWN life. Even if you think the world of each other, you’ll still need independence to do your own thing (eventually, even if the first 3 years are amazing and you want to spend all your time together).

It can also be a drain if you feel like the other person really needs you. There is suddenly pressure that if you go their life will fall apart. It’s much more gratifying if someone chooses to be with you because they like your company/presence.

And if someone is needy, there is the question, does this person like and want *me*? Or do they just need *someone*.

Hope that helps. I don’t think being completely absolutely independent is best, but like anything in life it’s about balance.

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